What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

How does Arab culture and values differ from western culture and values?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Will my 9 year old face more difficulties than most girls her age if she’s an early bloomer? My daughter already needs regular B cup bras. The doctor says that my daughter will be even more developed by 11-12 years of age.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

TEXT:

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Do women really cheat more than men?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Have you ever met someone and something seemed so unusual about them but you couldn't put your finger on what it was?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What was your most embarrassing and humiliating bare bottom spanking?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why do I feel worthless most of the time?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Do very hot men ever feel attracted to an ugly woman? Why?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What seemingly minor decision or moment in your past ended up having a massive impact on your entire life trajectory?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What is your most intimate experience with your best friend?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

How do I develop the patience to read books?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...